_____ ERM Couples Counseling & Relationship Coaching in Berlin - From Protection to Authentic Connection
Professional Couples Therapy Using the Innovative ERM Method
The 5 Pillars of the ERM Method: Evidence-Based Relationship Therapy
The Shared Energy Field (SEF) - Revolutionary Relationship Approach
Meta-Skills: The Building Blocks of Human Intimacy
From Reactivity to Embodied Consciousness - Personal Development
Relationship as an Evolutionary Path - Holistic Growth
Holistic Approach to Sexuality - Integrated Sex Therapy
The Journey from Reactive to Embodied Consciousness
Looking for effective couples counseling in Berlin? My work with couples is based on ERM (Embodied Relationship Mentoring) and body-psychotherapy. This unique and evolutionary approach places energetic flow in the body at its center and helps couples move from protective patterns to authentic connection and intimacy.
Who is ERM Couples Counseling For?
This holistic approach is suited for:
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Couples experiencing relationship challenges
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Friends with communication difficulties
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Siblings seeking better family relationships
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Anyone wanting more connection, understanding, empathy and intimacy
1. Experiential - Learning through experience
2. Emotionally Focused - Awareness through feeling
3. Embodied (Bottom Up) - Discovery through attending to physical experience
4. Educational (Top Down) - Understanding through knowledge
5. Evolutionary - Development through consciousness
1. From Being Right to Being Connected
When difficult feelings are shared from a place of wanting to get closer (not to prove we're right), the path for deeper love and fulfillment opens up.
2. Sharing Your Inner World - Key to Successful Communication
Sharing feelings of anger, fear, hurt, needs, remorse, and gratitude is the expression of a vibrant relationship.
3. Learning to Express and Listen - Improving Couple Communication
Sharing emotions and needs takes practice. It's a learning process to trust the voice of your body. There needs to be mutual willingness from both partners to communicate in a new way with each other.
4. Conflict as a Tool for Growth - Constructive Conflict Resolution
Conflicts can be chaotic and hurtful, but they can also be helpful. Every emotional reaction can be an impulse and motivation for change. Since conflicts are inevitable in every relationship, we need to learn and grow from them.
5. Empathy Lives in the Heart - The Path to Greater Understanding
Empathy is something we feel in our bodies, especially in our hearts. Helping couples feel empathy for each other and fostering that empathy is the guiding principle of this work.
Couples co-create a shared energy field through their interactions - a non-linear space where both partners are equal co-creators of their relationship dynamics. ERM recognizes that there is "no first cause," meaning both partners contribute equally to the challenges in their relationship.
True connection happens when we can feel and share all our emotions with our partner. We feel safe and close when we truly understand what our partner is feeling - and vice versa.
When couples create a space where both people feel safe to share their different reactions and parts of themselves, the relationship grows stronger.
Part of this work is supporting couples in cultivating their innate meta-skills (skills we are born with that are fundamental to our personhood and important in any relationship):
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Presencing - Ability to stay mindful and present in the midst of strong feelings
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Intentionality - Discovering and holding the intention to get to the truth
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Curiosity - Openness to really learn about your partner
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Grounding - Embodied awareness of what is happening within us in the present
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Humility - Willingness to learn and grow from feeling the impact of our behavior
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Self Responsibility - Taking ownership of your own contributions
The journey leads from young, unmet needs to the mature/real needs of the here and now. Through Full Self Expression - expressing our most vulnerable emotions - we open ourselves to love and empathy. When partners can establish empathy for one another, most problems actually vanish.
I view committed relationships as an "evolutionary path" - an opportunity for both partners to support each other in becoming more of who they are. This requires vulnerability, courage to push past comfort zones, dedication and compassion.
Conflict is a pathway to discovery. The goal of conflict goes beyond mere repair to new awareness about each other's wounding, protections, and real needs.
Recognition that sexual encounters bring forth everything that doesn't look like sex: insecurity, fear, resentments, shame, protection, judgment, etc. People's sexuality is not an excluded part in this process but a welcome one, and couples are supported in welcoming all feelings and energies into their sexuality.
Central to this approach is the awareness that most relationship problems result from disconnection from our hearts. ERM follows a simple (but not easy) model of helping couples move from protective energies into vulnerability as a pathway to connection.
True embodiment involves deepening consciousness of the shared energy field that every couple co-creates. This includes recognition of the role our nervous systems play in directing much of our interactions.
Conflict as a Pathway to Discovery - Transformative Therapy
5 Core Principles for Successful Relationship Work
Building Real Connection Through Feelings - Developing Emotional Intimacy
